Growing Older & Loss of Confidence!
I asked friends on Facebook what were their concerns about getting older? Health issues; concerns over money; as well as loss of confidence were the dominant themes. Confidence has always been my ally when I want to take on new projects or learn new skills. That does not mean there is no fear, I acknowledge fear and I allow fear and confidence to exist simultaneously. I guess that is why I feel confident because I accept that fear exists but it is not in charge, I am.
So What is Confidence and How is it Different from Self-Esteem?
‘Confidence describes how we feel about our ability to perform roles, functions and tasks. Self esteem is how we feel about ourselves, the way we look and the way we think. Whether or not we feel worthy and valued.’ ‘…confident people experience feelings of well being, acceptance of their body and mind and belief in their abilities, skills and experiences.’
I stated that I believe I have confidence but that does not mean that I have never struggled with low self-esteem or lack of confidence! I do not believe that confidence is a mysterious quality that only some people have. I believe confidence can be learned, increased and developed. My life and now my career is a quest to increase my confidence and raise self-esteem continually. So how will I go about this? I will train myself! Confidence and Self-Esteem touches of three aspects of who we are:
1. How we feel about our Appearance
2. How We Think
3. Skills & Abilities
Therefore we could increase our confidence and self-esteem by working on these three areas, for example –
Appearance – we all have something we would like to work on regarding our appearance. A simple visit to the hair dressers; making a decision to loose or gain weight. Take that yoga or fitness class. The list could go on and on. Once you have chosen an area, take massive action. I have just started spin classes. I want to build stamina and loose some weight. Every time I take the class I focus on the goal! It feels great because I have taken action and that alone increases my confidence!
How we think – what kind of mind chatter do we have that is disempowering? It will be that one thing you say to yourself when you are feeling low. Negative thoughts are a way of beating ourselves up and keeping us stuck. Mine is that I am too old to pursue my dreams. As soon as that thought comes into my mind I remind myself that I am the perfect age to be doing what I am doing and I reverse the negative self-talk. I literally replace it with a positive and empowering affirmation. The more I practice this the quicker my response and the less power I give those negative thoughts until they disappear. I then congratulate myself for not putting up with any negative people in my life, including myself!
Skills & Abilities – Search your heart for that one desire that has never gone away. Mine was I want to learn piano, I have said this for years. Well I have now started and it feels amazing. Slowly without judgement I am learning two cord melodies and I love it. I also began my degree when I was 37 and I loved every single minute of it. Best thing I have ever done. I did not worry about resources because I knew once I’d made the decision I would find all the resources I needed and I finished that degree and then went on to do two more.
So you can train yourself to be more confident while increasing your self-esteem! Let us celebrate who we are by loving and accepting our appearance and reversing any negative chatter that gives us excuses for not pursuing our dreams and goals. If you are flying high in these areas then God bless you and please encourage others to go for it too. It is the birthright of everybody?
Please leave a comment in the box below and be an encouragement to others and don’t forget to share, share, share. Let’s keep learning, growing and celebrating!
Let us live with CONFIDENCE, CREATIVITY AND COMPASSION!