Tag Archives: appearance

DATING For the Over 50s Who should we date? How should we date? And WHO should we not touch with a barge pole?

Dating: You lost me at Hello!

As a woman in her 50s I have taken the plunge and decided to find love: romantic love to be precise!   I have to say I enjoy being single, so finding a mate means giving up my single lifestyle.  Do I really want to, that is the question?  Let’s just say he will have to be very special as I really, really enjoy my own company!  The single lifestyle gives me oodles of time to pursue my interests, contemplate life’s big questions, spend time with my friends and avoid all kinds of relationship dramas.  My life is pretty perfect and completely uncomplicated!!

Cinderella Complex

I understand the Cinderella Complex so I am not looking for anybody to come along and change my life or save me. I am looking for somebody worthy and happy to give up their single lifestyle in order to enjoy and share a full, fun and uncomplicated life with me.  No time wasters please!  And no drama queens either!  And while we are at it, no narcissists!!  Learning all about those at the moment!!  A bit heavy on the exclamation marks, maybe time to breath.

Has flirting been replaced with a swipe?

Now in my twenties dating was fun and flirting was harmless.  I was attracted by physical appearance, energy and a good sense of humour.  Proximity played a vital part in the mating game. Dating has changed. The art of flirting seems to have been replaced with a swipe. Dating is much more aggressive with on-line profiles and apps. People are not always honest in this world of technological dating.  You can meet someone, form a relationship (of sorts) and break up, all before you have uttered a single word!   The art of seduction has become, for some, a sport with professional scammers targeting my demographic more than any other.  That needs a radio show all of its own!!!

Playing safe!

A recent survey cited that the number of singles over the age of 50 in the UK, U.S. – and many other nations around the world is unprecedented. If this is true then there must be a lot of people out there feeling as I do?  I am going to  investigate and explore the dating scene for the over 50s. Starting today with two guests who talk about how we can navigate the dating arena while staying safe and hopefully have a bit of fun; no euphemism intended!!!

What is LUMEN?

My two guests are The Countess Alex Zapak and Dating Expert Charly Lester.  My clever, intelligent and sexy  guests give a funny and honest account of how to behave on dates; where to look for partners and what to expect while on a date or leading up to going on a date. This interview was originally scheduled for half an hour but there was so much to talk about that we simply keep on going. Charly Lester, who is one of the world’s leading dating industry experts, gives us clear advice on how to stay safe. She also talks about LUMEN, a free app for the over 50s.

Here is a snippet of the interview with Charly Lester on how to keep safe in the dating world:

  • Always keep conversations on the dating site – you may need to block or report them if they become inappropriate.
  • Don’t give away too much detail.
  • Don’t let them know your full name.
  • When you do arrange to meet up – don’t leave your bag unattended.
  • Don’t leave your drink unattended.
  • Don’t let them drop you home at the end of the night.
  • Apply the same logic as you would, meeting any stranger.
  • Regardless of how much you like them don’t lead with your heart until you get to know them really well.
  • Be cautious – don’t take a picture to send to them that might include your address.

I learned a tremendous amount from my guests, particularly the differences between what men and women look for in a partner.  There is also some wonderful content on how to behave when the cheque/bill arrives. You can hear all of this and much more if you follow the link to my radio show at the top of the page.  Please leave a comment on the sound cloud if any of this resonates with you.

If you wanted to listen again or catch up on our previous programmes you can head to the Presenters page on Women’s Radio Station.com and find me Margaret Tully.  I would also love to hear from you on www.margarettully.international – send me an email and I will get right back to you. (email address is also on my contacts page).

Thank you to Alex and Charly for your open hearts, sharp intelligence, whit and most of all sharing your truth and experiences.  Fit, Fabulous & 50+ if for all people men and women who would like to connect or share how to make living a full and vital life possible for everybody regardless of age.   We need YOU on the radio.  We need your voice.  We need your thoughts.  We need your feelings and concerns to make this community relevant for all who have found life after 50 something to celebrate. We need your ideas so please feel free and  email me any questions you may have.

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3 Powerful Ways to Increase Confidence & Self Esteem

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The most beautiful thing you can wear is CONFIDENCE

Growing Older & Loss of Confidence!

I asked friends on Facebook what were their concerns about getting older? Health issues; concerns over money; as well as loss of confidence were the dominant themes.  Confidence has always been my ally when I want to take on new projects or learn new skills.  That does not mean there is no fear, I acknowledge fear and I allow fear and confidence to exist simultaneously.  I guess that is why I feel confident because I accept that fear exists but it is not in charge, I am.

So What is Confidence and How is it Different from Self-Esteem?

‘Confidence describes how we feel about our ability to perform roles, functions and tasks. Self esteem is how we feel about ourselves, the way we look and the way we think. Whether or not we feel worthy and valued.’   ‘…confident people experience feelings of well being, acceptance of their body and mind and belief in their abilities, skills and experiences.’

I stated that I believe I have confidence but that does not mean that I have never struggled with low self-esteem or lack of confidence!  I do not believe that confidence is a mysterious quality that only some people have.   I believe confidence can be learned, increased and developed. My life and now my career is a quest to increase my confidence and raise self-esteem continually.   So how will I go about this?  I will train myself!  Confidence and Self-Esteem touches of three aspects of who we are:

1.     How we feel about our Appearance
2.     How We Think
3.     Skills & Abilities

Therefore we could increase our confidence and self-esteem by working on these three areas, for example –

Appearance – we all have something we would like to work on regarding our appearance. A simple visit to the hair dressers; making a decision to loose or gain weight. Take that yoga or fitness class. The list could go on and on.   Once you have chosen an area, take massive action.  I have just started spin classes. I want to build stamina and loose some weight. Every time I take the class I focus on the goal!  It feels great because I have taken action and that alone increases my confidence!

How we think – what kind of mind chatter do we have that is disempowering? It will be that one thing you say to yourself when you are feeling low. Negative thoughts are a way of beating ourselves up and keeping us stuck. Mine is that I am too old to pursue my dreams. As soon as that thought comes into my mind I remind myself that I am the perfect age to be doing what I am doing and I reverse the negative self-talk.  I literally replace it with a positive and empowering affirmation.  The more I practice this the quicker my response and the less power I give those negative thoughts until they disappear.  I then congratulate myself for not putting up with any negative people in my life, including myself!

Skills & Abilities  – Search your heart for that one desire that has never gone away. Mine was I want to learn piano, I have said this for years. Well I have now started and it feels amazing. Slowly without judgement I am learning two cord melodies and I love it. I also began my degree when I was 37 and I loved every single minute of it. Best thing I have ever done. I did not worry about resources because I knew once I’d made the decision I would find all the resources I needed and I finished that degree and then went on to do two more.

So you can train yourself to be more confident while increasing your self-esteem!  Let us celebrate who we are by  loving and accepting our appearance and reversing any negative chatter that gives us excuses for not pursuing our dreams and goals.  If you are flying high in these areas then God bless you and please encourage others to go for it too. It is the birthright of everybody?

Please leave a comment in the box below and be an encouragement to others and don’t forget to share, share, share. Let’s keep learning, growing and celebrating!

Let us live with CONFIDENCE, CREATIVITY AND COMPASSION!