Tag Archives: menopause

Childless woman or Child Free woman: a matter of perspective!

Fit Fabulous and Fifty + – Child Free Women, All a matter of Perception

Do we need to have children in order to be fulfilled?

I made a decision in my 20s not to have children! I can honestly say I do not regret that choice.

I love children! I enjoy their energy, curiosity, vitality and playfulness. I learn from them. They remind me to stay playful. As a woman I feel a need to nurture and contribute to all the people I meet whether they are young, older or elderly. My mothering instincts express itself in the form of compassion, creativity and confidence: through my work, my relationships and my empathy for a world that, let’s face it, needs love in all its forms. My innate feminine energy is present and evident in everything I do!

Regrets? I’ve had a few but then again too few to mention!

Do I regret not having children? No. I made the right choice for me! I have not failed as a woman! I do realize that not every woman shares my point of view.  I am fine with that! My heart goes out to women that would have loved to have their own biological children but it simply has not happened for them. And my hearts breaks for any woman or man that has lost a child!

Considering the delicacy of these varied circumstances, navigating conversations surrounding family and children can be a tricky one.  I mention tricky and delicate because when asked whether you have children (I and a lot of my child free friends) find themselves reassuring their inquisitor with, ‘oh it’s fine… don’t worry about me… it didn’t happen for me… I’m fine, really I am…’ and on and on.

More often than not people assume you belong in one category or another without knowing your circumstances. They either look confused, disapproving or sympathetic. I recently had a lovely gentleman, who I met at church; moments after meeting me ask the question, ‘Do you have children?’ When I simply replied ‘no, I don’t have any children,’ without hesitation, he uttered, ‘How unfortunate’!

I found this man’s lack of restraint rather refreshing because he voiced what I believe a lot of people think and feel about my circumstances. I have even had women stop dead in their tracks and redirect their attention elsewhere upon learning my predicament.

I feel extremely fortunate and blessed!

This brings me to my main point: I do not feel unfortunate. Yes the beauty and joy of children is a wonderful and beautiful gift. Some would say it is the most creative things we can do with your lives, and I totally get that. But it is not the only way to have a full and creative life. So please do not judge me for making a different choice to you. Children provide milestones for our lives. As a teacher I can see the children that are thriving and the children that are not. For many they are their legacy. However, women that do not have children – can find other means to create a legacy and other avenues to fulfill potential and create milestones. Children, as precious as they are, are not the only way to find fulfilment. Mothering instincts are at work every time we are loving, accepting and nurturing towards others and ourselves.

Are we women first or human beings first?

In a recent interview I asked my interviewee, ‘How would you define yourself as a woman’? I received this response:

I don’t define myself as a woman; I define myself as a person!  What sex I am does not come into it.  When I think about who I am, I think about what I have achieved in my life or what I want to achieve.   I think about what I am most proud of.   Some of us are wives, sisters, friends, lovers, daughters, mothers, aunts, carers. Whether you fulfill one of these roles or all of these roles should not reduce or increase your value as a person.

Very wise thoughts indeed! So in answer to the lovely, honest gentleman who considers my life unfortunate, I would like to say:

Please don’t feel sorry for me. I am sufficient in myself, complete, happy and strong enough to see life through on my own. I take care of myself.   My focus is on how I can contribute to society with my energy, love, resources, creativity, confidence and compassion. I am free to give to people, groups, children and the elderly. I am outward focused and give love and support to all. So please do not feel sorry for me – we all have a place in this world that is vital, important and valuable whether we are mothers or not.  I feel truly blessed and I aim to live a free and vital life full of love, peace and joy. I hope you are as happy and content with your life. I truly wish that for everybody whether you are parents or not and I feel no need to enquiry to which group you belong!

Now if any of this resonates with you and you would like to be involved in the conversation please leave a comment in the box below.   You can also click on the sound cloud and leave a comment or email me margaret@margarettully.com You could also email me on presenters@womensradiostation.com or tweet us @womensradiostn.

Please take the time to listen to Fit Fabulous & 50+ on womens radios station.  You can subscribe by simply giving your email address in the box indicated below.

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Getting through the menopause with elegance! Speaking with Dr Sarah Burnett.

Hello and welcome to Fit, Fabulous & 50+ with me Margaret Tully on Women’s Radio Station. Fit Fabulous & 50+ is for all who feel vibrant, sexy and fabulous and want to shout about it. So today I want to talk about THE MENOPAUSE.

 THE CHANGE!

Now when I was growing up The Menopause was referred to as ‘the change’ and it was mouthed rather than voiced. I grew up thinking it was this horrible, scary thing that affected crazy women. So as I was approaching the menopause I was convinced that it was going to bypass me. I decided that I did not have to deal with it. If anybody touched on the subject I would close it down and laugh it off. I would not speak about it because to me it was an embarrassing word. Sooo glad times have changed!

DR SARAH BURNETT DISPELS OUR MISCONCEPTIONS REGARDING THE MENOPAUSE!

Today I am very honoured to be able to interview Dr Sarah Burnett who is going to help us dispel some of our misconception about the menopause.  You can listen to this interview at the top of this blog.

My menopause was late with symptoms really only becoming apparent to me when I was about 54. My first hot flush was one Christmas when I was on holiday in Ireland and I was convinced all the buildings in Ireland had their thermostats turned up. Dr Sarah brilliantly explained the different stages of the menopause.

BIO-IDENTICAL HORMONES!

I now believe I am through the menopause, although I still get hot flushes from time to time. I am very interested in the holistic approach. I spend a lot of times in the States and I have come across something called bio-identical hormones. I have not used them as I don’t understand how their work and I don’t want to source anything that is not completely regulated or locally sourced. However the internet can be a minefield of information – Dr Sarah explain beautifully the  difference between HRT and bio-identical hormones.  If only for this section please listen to the broadcast.

BENEFITS OF INTERMITTENT FASTING.

I love intermittent fasting and I know when I cut out stimulants such as sugar, caffeine and alcohol, I don’t experience as many hot flushes. I have also supplemented soya and Mexican Wild Yam. I bought on line hormone creams that I later find out carry a warning stating it can increase risks of cancer. Dr Sarah sheds light on which supplements help to reduce menopausal symptoms and which supplement should be avoided.

MY TOP TIPS TO ROCK THE MENOPAUSE.

Accept that your body is changing and menopause is nature’s gift to women.

Intermittent fasting (remove – caffeine, alcohol and sugar) allows the body to rest from digestion enough to go into repair mode.

Exercise – walking, yoga, cardio vascular and some sort of weight bearing activity builds strength, and muscle as well as reduces stress.

Meditate – Focus on what you are grateful for in life.

Develop a diet to balance hormones:
  • Keep animal fats low in your diet.
  • Eat organic wherever possible.
  • Break the habits of using stimulants such as coffee, chocolate, sugar,  cigarettes and alcohol.
  • Identify areas of stress in your life and make some positive changes.
  • Make sure you are getting enough essential fats.
Supplements:

Evening primrose oil

Mexican Yam

B complex

Magnesium and zinc

Vitamin E

And don’t forget hydration, hydration, hydration and invest in good quality water avoiding plastic whenever possible.

Please take the time to listen to Fit Fabulous & 50+ on womens radios station.  You can subscribe by simply giving your email address in the box indicated below.

As always I would love to hear from you –
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Join the conversation.
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Happy New Year – Happy New You!

I love New Year – Letter Go AND Looking Forward!

I believe the best is yet to come! As I approach my 59th year I have decided to meet it head on and remove any glimpse of shame. From about the age of 31 I have been avoiding the question of age. There were times (in my past) where I tried to pass myself off as younger – from 5 to 10 years and once a whole two years. (I guess I was having a very strange day!) Being in denial did not just play itself out with age it was also connected to my weight.

My 50s I would sum up as the decade where I started to avoid mirrors (unless the lighting was very flattering) and scales. I had gained weight and I was struggling with my identity because I had always been thin, svelt, skinny, lanky and at times down right gaunt. As a former Las Vegas showgirl this served me well most of the time (except the time when I was threatened with the sack if I did not gain weight).

In 2017 I decided to participate in something called the Isabody Challenge. This is run by a company called Isagenix and requires before and after shots with 90 days optimum nutritional cleansing. I am now on my second challenge, and I have lost 22lbs and 26 inches. I finally achieved the goal I had held for 10 years. More than the weight loss is the feeling of satisfaction I have knowing I can achieve anything I set my heart to. I have a new life style, a new attitude and (without feeling smug or cocky) an overall feeling of well-being and confidence.

I am sharing this because I want to encourage any of you that want to take control of their health and weight to do it now! Invest in yourself.  Set some goals and start moving towards them. As I said it took me six months but the process is so fabulous. Getting a strong focus and the feeling of certainty and deep, deep satisfaction. Whatever method you choose you can do it. I choose Isagenix and I believe this is a wonderful company to align with. If you would like to learn more, please do not delay, get in touch and I will talk you through, support you and cheer you every inch of the way. The benefits are more than just loosing weight – I now have:

  • Increased vitality and energy.
  • More productive hours in the day.
  • I have released (22 lbs) and (26 inches).
  • I feel stronger and enjoy exercise (running, yoga, tennis and lots more).
  • My hair and skin feel amazing. No hair shedding as well as sleek and soft texture.
  • Bright and breezy in the morning.
  • Sleep better and therefore less is needed.
  • Raised confidence and self-esteem.
  • Hot flashes/flushes considerably reduced.

I would love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment on the top of this page and join in the conversation. If you have not signed up to my newsletter please subscribe by simply giving your email address at the bottom of this page.

If you think this may be of interest to a friend please share on facebook, twitter or simply forward it.

Happy New Year and I hope that 2018 you are blessed with good health, wealth, vitality and lots and lots of love.

As always it is my pleasure and gift to you to share in this wonderful community of Fit, Fabulous and 50+ women and men. 2018 is going to be an amazing year, align yourself with the leaders of the pack and celebrate, celebrate, celebrate!!!

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